I don't know what causes this. I dread it when it happens. Maybe to some degree it is a symptom of the "bi-polar" condition that is prevalent in my family. Those manic highs and then those low points. All I know is that every so often I lose all my creative drive. It just vanishes. I can feel it ebbing away. Usually this occurs after a big project. That huge "let down" after you have been working feverishly on something and then... it's finished. It's done. I just don't have the desire to be creative. Usually I can force myself back into that "space" by shear will power alone, but this time is bad. I just can't get inspired. Often during these periods I find that certain skills become... less. Things that came easily to me are a struggle. I think it may also be related to diet and exorcise. I've been skipping my vitamins, eating junk food and staying up too late.

<sigh>

I hope it comes back soon. I don't feel "sad" or depressed, I just... don't feel creative. I feel like an "ordinary" person. What do regular people do when they have free time? Read a book? Play a video game? Watch tv? Being creative is my hobby as well as my profession. When I have a deadline or a project of some kind I can force myself to get it done... but it's harder when I WANT to do my own stuff but just can't find that spark of excitement. I think it could be all this bad news about the economy on top of all the political nonsense. It kind of makes the creative stuff seem unimportant. Usually it is being creative that takes my mind off of all that stuff but it isn't working.

I do have this slight craving to fold paper. I should get out my origami paper and make a giraffe... or a zebra... maybe try that scorpion I never had the courage to attempt before. <sigh> I hope I can snap out of this soon. Going to buy some more vitamins. they have these new ones now with CAFFEINE in them! Healthy AND stimulating. Wish me luck.

-vern

Will all the people in the forum who do NOT exhibit these symptoms that Vern is describing please raise their hand... (Silence.)

Your body's a machine, Vern. You ran down your serotonin. In large projects (like TWO & SO), I've just got to hope that we all don't run low simultaneously. It's a major part of the "management" process, (and you thought managers were all about power trips and making the big bucks).

(What I want is a piece of those serotonin mines! I'd be kickin' the pants off the Arab oil barons if I could just find where I misplaced my map.)

Aha! Found this little nugget of knowledge:


For about a month or two I was drinking these little packets of powdered juice that are loaded with all the B vitamins. I was going crazy with the creative juices during that time. I ran out about a week or two ago and never gave it a thought. I wonder if that doesn't have something to do with it?

-vern

Sounds like you need to sign on to do some SO work.

When that mood comes over me i just look at a book I haven't finished..how to photoshop etc or magazine I haven't gotten to finish and find something that starts up the sleeping muse. maybe you should animate your music

Vern, I know too what you're going through. While I can't guarantee this will help, it's an exercise that may help.

Pick a word at random. You can open a book with your eyes closed and point if you want. Write the word in the middle of a blank sheet of paper and circle it. Think of that word, and write any words that come to mind around the original word, and circle them. When you run out, pick one of those new words, and do the same thing. Keep going until you fill up the paper, or find yourself inspired.

I know for myself, low self esteem can add to lack of inspiration. When inspiration strikes, low self esteem says 'Yeah, that'd be cool, but I'll never pull it off.' or, ' Nah, that's been done over and over again, and I can't do it any better...'

Total freedom can be a big problem too. Constriction breeds creativity. We had an activity last night at school where we had to go out and shoot a two minute film edited in camera, (It had to be shot in order) and the theme was 'Losing a cell phone, and finding it again'. Today we had a similar assignment, we were sent out with cameras to film two minutes of footage that we will be editing later on computers. We could film whatever we wanted. It was a lot harder to come up with something to do.

I hope this helps, even if only a little.


P.S. Were you drinking Jackie Chan's Extreme Green Tea? I love that stuff!

I believe that creative artists operate with a different conscious/subconscious interface than "normal" folks. That interface does not operate with a simple on/off switch. Your psyche is reloading. When you have something to say, and the desire to say it your creativity will be striding down main street at high noon, guns a-blazin'. <------- That's your creativity striding down . . . etc.

Myron

Thanks for the support. I know this will pass. It always does. Part of it is the fact that I have no ongoing projects at the moment which makes me nervous. Having deadlines forces you to be creative "against your will" which is a big incentive. Plus this... financial collapse... thingy... is... it's nearly as devastating as 911 from a psychological point of view. This thing is bad. They will talk about this in the future the way we talk about the crash of '29. My own bank Wachovia invested heavily in those crap mortgages and they are in the news now about having some problems. I know that OUR money is safe in the bank... but it still makes you nervous... which bleeds into finding that creative spark.

I've got my vitamins. Hopefully my outlook will improve over the next few days. I uploaded a new song on my soundclick page: A Pack O' Lips Now. I found a bunch of my original Rebirth songs tonight that I thought were lost completely and had a blast playing them for about an hour or so. that got me inspired a little bit. Funny... I can still write. I never seem to be at a loss for words even when the muse leaves me. I guess words use a different part of the brain.

------

p.s. Speaking of inspirations, Rachel Maddow is HOT. Watched her show tonight. I understand that she is... uh... "very happy"... but she is still very attractive. Does that make me a little... "happy" as well? I certainly don't feel "happy". Halle Barry has that short hair cut working for her. Demi Moore and Sigourney Weaver both looked pretty dang good even with shaved heads. They are both pretty dang hot and obviously not "happy". I think I'm safe. I'm still trying to get over Portia and Ellen (Portia more so than Ellen). Why am I attracted to "happy" women? I dated a women once who, afterwards, immediately decided she was very "happy" and married another woman. They both have very short hair. Could it be the hair? Maybe it's the hair. I might need therapy to find the cause of my attraction to happy women with short hair. Maybe the therapist can help me find my muse at the same time. Maybe... my MUSE has short hair? Maybe my muse is "HAPPY"!



-vern

Yup! Been there, done that. Sux!

I find it helpful to 'go with' the uncreativity... FORGET your an artist altogether. It will all come back within a week. But I'm weird that way... on really hot-humid 'dogs-breath' days I like to go jogging, after that the heat is not so bad.

Do you have any physical activities? You need to do something on a regular basis, even walking is great. One of my hobbies is boomerang-throwing... it doesn't sound tedious...but it's good for me, and fun. Bowling...oh wait, this is Vern...( I read your stuff)ANYWAYS- Your body is telling you something...step away from the computer...

Are you kidding me?! Every man on this planet would like to be the 3rd wheel in a relationship with 2 "happy" women - preferably shaved. (Except perhaps "happy" men...)

Not a fan of... that sort of thing. I have too much... empathy. That sort of thing can be very uncomfortable... so I've been told... many times... how uncomfortable it is. Ruins the mood.



Dear God I hope were talking about the same thing.

-vern

Sooo.....back to inspiration. Did you ever make that bear project you were working on Vern?

(PS Portia is still hot)

The "Bear" project is still waiting for dialog which I've decided to do myself. My brother was going to help me with it but that hasn't worked out so well.

I feel a tiny bit awkward discussing this project here because... of... uh... changes in the style and format. It's not so much... 3D anymore. When I was working on it with AM I realized quite quickly that I didn't have the computer power or the skills to do it in 3D. All the characters have lots of hair and I just couldn't find a solution that didn't require a lot of effort and render time. So I started looking at options offered by other dimensions.

The 4th dimension was out since it is hard to find and it moves around a lot. Plus they wouldn't let me in without the password and secret handshake (the 4th dimension is very snobbish). I checked with the 1st dimension but it had no depth (or width) and I couldn't see it very well, plus there is very little software available for it. Finally I looked at the 2nd dimension and the people there seemed quite friendly and nice although they are a bit flat and "one dimensional".

I still plan to use AM for 3D backgrounds and AM particles for Ethyl the fairy. That will be something I can handle in AM.

I felt very guilty making this decision (I tried often to explain this to Martin as best I could). It made me feel like a traitor to AM which I LOVE TO DEATH and still am VERY DEDICATED TO. I love AM but I just don't have the rigging chops and the computer power to pull off an animated series where all the characters in every scene have fur. I had to be realistic and also I liked the sketches I did of the characters and I just couldn't maintain that in the 3rd dimension. The decision had absolutely NOTHING to do with AM or Hash. No impact at all. Hash is still Hash. AM is still AM, the best company and 3D software ever. I just realized my own limits to what I could do with it.

-vern