I hate reality shows. I have hated them since they started.

I never liked Survivor. I think they should have combined Fat March and Survivor into one show. (I wanted them to not feed them and see how long before they eat each other). Never watched The Bachelor (I thought they should have been allowed to marry one and keep the second place for a mistress on the side). Wife Swap... uh... that one shocked me at first until I realized it didn't include... you know... the whole nine yards. I must admit I was a little disappointed and might have watched if it had. Oh well... there's still the internet.

There was one very short lived reality show where they put a bunch of Amish young people with a group of worldly "English" to see what would happen. That one smelled very fishy to me. Having grown up Mennonite I know the Amish better than most television viewers. They just wouldn't do that... not real Amish. I think they were fakes. I had a friend years ago when I was in high school who rebelled against her parents by BECOMING Amish. That was freaky weird. She married into an Amish community and has like 16 or 30 kids now I think. I would have liked to have seen the Amish on an episode of Survivor. They would have kicked everyones arse.

Of all the stupid ridiculous reality shows... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition takes the cake. At first I could maybe watch it and not puke. Now... good GOD! The reason that show really ticks me off... the money they spend on ONE FREAKING FAMILY could build an entire city of homes through habitat for humanity or some similar organization. Put THAT on TV! They can still make it schmaltzy and have people cry... MOVE THE BUS and reveal 10 houses for goodness sakes (better yet, have the bus careen out of control and run over the whole cast). They build this house that a family of 60 could live in comfortably (and still rent out an apartment over the 10 car garage) give them all this stuff... while the neighbors help? Would you help? They never ever show video of some ticked off neighbor who refused to put up dry wall. You can't tell me that EVERY neighbor was on board with that. I know if one of my neighbors got on that show I would be out there with picket signs, protesting the disgusting display of over the top consumerism.

Super Nanny. I must admit I like that show a little bit. Once a month is enough. It's very annoying and extremely frightening. Quite frankly that show is why no one should be allowed to have children without passing some sort of IQ test first... or... some sort of mental competency test. I watch that show to remind me why I'm sooooo happy I have no children. If I had gotten married and had kids... I would not have ended up on THAT show... I would have been on an episode of COPS in some trailer park, the cops dragging off my wife for beating me up, the screaming kids in the background. Put THAT on Super Nanny. Have her go to a meth lab in some sleazy neighborhood to help discipline the kids.

Speaking of COPS... I don't include it in my list of "reality shows". I don't think it counts. I think it transcends the genre. I think COPS should run 24/7 in every prison, jail house, drunk tank, rehab... everywhere. You watch that show enough... you would NEVER try to run or drive off or lie to the police. You really see what those guys have to deal with every single day. Morons (the people they deal with, not the cops).

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Now... finally... there is a new reality show I LIKE! I enjoy this one. It requires absolutely no brain cells at all. It is pure visual mind candy.

Wipeout!

Check out this show. It is just like those Japanese game shows where the people have to go through ridiculous obstacle courses. Wipeout is wonderful. It has the drama, It has the comedy. It has the contestants making fools of themselves, but in a silly way... not acting like a fool because some guy didn't choose them as their wife or because tribe B got the diseased road kill for dinner and the last thing you ate was a rancid beetle. Wipeout of course makes fun of EVERYONE, but it isn't "personal". In other reality shows they edit the real events to make people look bad or mean or stupid or weird. It is portrayed as their real personalities. Wipeout is removed from reality. The contestants are reveling in the stupidity and loving every minute. It doesn't celebrate psychological manipulation. I love the commentary. It's brilliant without insulting your intelligence. They know the whole thing is a complete joke and they just go for it.

I suppose the cycle has come around again. In television... Almost Anything Goes (I loved that show too).



-vern

It's worse than that. Everyone goes to all that trouble to build that huge house, then the family takes a huge mortgage and doesn't pay it back...

'Extreme Makeover' house faces foreclosure

And speaking of those Japanese shows with the obstacle courses... I found one the other day called "Ninja Warrior". It's awesome. I wonder when it's on again...

Hah! Figures. It's the "Goose that laid the Golden Egg" syndrome. Giving someone something incredibly valuable doesn't make them smart. the TV show should have clause in the contract preventing the owners from doing something that stupid with out consulting ABC first.

How about the "Orphans Lawsuit" story? There's one for the books. I hope those kids win. This so called "reality show" does several takes of certain moments to get the "spontaneous reality"... just right. New genre... ""Rehearsed Reality TV". God I hate that stupid show. It's a cartoon that hurts more than it helps. It uses manipulative "real" emotions for ratings and advertising. It's really a farce. They aren't being real, it's all staged. That's called "acting". When you tell someone to "pretend" to be "surprised" (imagine a director doing the "quotes" thing with his fingers talking to the "actors" on the fifth take) it's called acting, whether you're in the guild or not.

That show reminds me of Professional Wrestling... BEFORE they admitted it was "fake". Years ago as a child I spent about a week in the hospital. I shared a room with another kid who INSISTED professional wrestling was REAL. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes... I wouldn't have made such a fuss but we had to share the TV.

I think Extreme Makeover should just get actors to do the show each week. They can "fake" the makeover on a Hollywood back lot somewhere or use CGI. Each week they "make up" some crazy sad sob story and then do the makeover with appropriate tear jerking moments (tear jerking? Well, at least half of that phrase is correct). They could save a bundle and any idiot fans who believe it will be happy (anyone who falls for that schmaltz doesn't have a very high IQ). They can be like the Pro Wrestling fans of yester-year.

-vern

You forgot to mention that NONE OF THAT IS REALITY! It is all made up crap for TV. When is the last time you were on an island and able to vote someone off of it? When is the last time you went on a date and 10 other guys showed up? Or you walked into your house and there was a team of people fixing it up? What's that? Never? Me either.. not much reality involved at all.. They should be called "Unscripted" shows.. not reality.

You want reality? Watch Dirty Jobs.. American Chopper, etc.. Those are real reality shows.. Thousands of people go to work every day working on cars.. or doing the crap that you see on Dirty Jobs.

Super Nanny? I have the fix for that.. Send me in there with a baseball bat.. I'll bash the skulls of the parents and everything will be fixed. If the kids don't behave, at least they won't be making any more. When I hear a parent say, "He's 8 years old... what can I do?" I want to punch them in the face. They don't listen because YOU SUCK as a parent! Bottom line.

But, I don't watch any of that crap.. I've even gotten to the point where I make my wife turn it off.. When every other word is a beep coming from the TV.. I go in there and say I've heard enough beeping, find something else to watch.. it's all just 100% complete garbage. Even the "talent contest" shows are borderline complete garbage.. maybe 80% because they accidentally let some entertaining people with actual talent slip through once in a while.

I am a Project Runway junkie (BRAVO channel). Big surprise.

I LOVE that show. It's incredibly creative. The challenges are creative, the designers are talented, creative.

Don't worry, REAL men can watch that show. With the curtains closed, of course - or if their wife makes them.

The show does involve seeing super models in various stages of dressing - so Vern....it may be tooo adult for you? (hee hee)

It's the only "reality" show I'll watch. Or admit to.

Ok. Top Chef (also BRAVO) - is interesting, but doesn't have me hooked.

My personal favorite Japanese show was Human Tetris... I almost fell out of my chair the first time I watched it.

There are different types of "reality" programming.

I LOVE Dirty Jobs. I've watched Project Runway "marathons" (is that the clothing designers?). The reason I liked Project Runway was because of my connection to the artists mind. Those designers have the same personalities as any artist. Their thought processes are familiar to me. I can identify with it.

Dirty Jobs is great because there is no "threat". There is no prize, no one is trying to "win" anything. It is real. It is the ultimate in reality. That is why COPS was so successful. It was the real thing. No money. No prize.

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The term "reality show" came in to fashion when Survivor hit the airwaves (cablewaves?). It was the dawn of a new type that is awful. A "pseudo" reality show. Not quite reality. That show failed for me because it wasn't about survival at all. I was looking forward to it when I heard about it. Then when I saw it I realized it wasn't people working together to survive... it was a freaking weird bizarre game show. If they gave those people weapons and said they could legally kill they if needed they would have done so just for the money. It was the beginning of a genre of programming designed to bring out the worst in people.

About Supper Nanny...
I agree with Jzawacki... uh... er... not so violently of course. I think a lot of those parents probably should have taken some classes or talked to other parents before having kids. I think they are probably not so unusual unfortunately. I see that behavior all the time. There was a trend for a while about not "punishing" children. Let them do what ever they want. Don't be "negative". Never say "no" or "don't do that". I think spanking is useless unless it is done so infrequently as to really have an impact. Most parents I've seen who spank their children do it so much it has lost any threat. Personally I think for children there are much more effective means of punishment than hitting. When I was a kid... taking away the TV was worse than being locked in a dark dungeon in the dark with spiders. I will always remember the time I was punished by not being allowed to watch Kung Fu for two weeks!!! AGONY!

I think there are some positive elements to Supper Nanny. It does portray what NOT to do when raising kids as much as what to do. Unfortunately most of the advice seems to me to be... common sense. My sister has two boys. She is NOT very good at saying no or being the disciplinarian. Her husband on the other hand is very good at it. When he says "jump" those boys ask "how high". My sister is more of the, "please jump if you want to... I don't care how high just please try to jump? Okay? I'll buy you a toy!"

Of course I have no children so I'm not allowed to comment on any of this or I get those looks... you know the look? When you don't have children and you say, "Just tell them no and don't say anything else. How hard is that?". I remember being a kid. I know how good they are at manipulation. They are pros. It's like some part of the brain that can scheme in 3 dimensions with a photographic memory. They are like police in an interrogation, or lawyers taking depositions... THEY FORGET NOTHING and will use it against you in a court of law.



Don't get me started on Grandmothers. Sheesh. If children could enter into legally binding contracts they could get Grandmothers to sign over cars, houses, retirement funds...



I find super models... or models in general, to be freakish mutants. I don't find them... that attractive. Too bony, too thin, too concerned with their weight. I like women with a little meat on their bones, not obese mind you, I'm not one of those guys. A healthy woman who is not afraid to ENJOY a nice dinner... WITH DESERT. I can't STAND women who complain about their weight. I hate that beyond all other pet peeves. The only time weight should be a concern is if YOUR FREAKING DOCTOR TELLS YOU YOUR ARE IN DANGER.

I remember dating a woman who started complaining that she was getting "fat". I think she had gained 10 pounds since we started dating. I never even noticed. I never commented on it. What could I do about it? Agree with her? Disagree? It's a no win situation. I did suggest an increase in aerobic exercise and other physical activities as a means for weight loss if she was really concerned about it. This solution proved to beneficial for both of us.

Get your minds out of the gutter. We started taking long walks together (as a part of a total exercise program of course)



-vern

Here's a small glimpse into the future.. keep an eye out for this one:

"If you don't do what I'm telling you, I'm going to call/tell your father!"...

I've seen that one as well.. I'm not saying I'm a prefect parent or anything, but I've found that giving them respect and nudges in the right direction do a crap load toward kids that listen.. The one thing that kills me is when our "rules" stop us for doing what we want. If a kid (a 2 and 4 year old) starts crying, no matter what they wanted, they don't get it. We can't allow them to think a temper tantrum allowed them to get their way, so we negotiate earlier instead of later. But, if we they need to wait for mommy to check out before they can go on the train ride.. they have to wait.

The problem is the parents who feel so sad when their kids want something and they don't get it. It breaks their hearts and they crumble, break down from the tears. It takes a lot of back bone to maintain consistency with children (I can't do it with my nephews). It is the "respect" thing. It's like raising a dog and making sure it knows who the "alpha" dog is in the pack. . My young nephews walk all over me (not literally. their parents made them stop when I injured my back).

p.s. Children are not dogs... I am well aware of this. They don't smell nearly as bad and they don't shed or chew on shoes as much. I recently found out that you don't need to keep children in small metal cages when traveling long distances either. Apparently the one my sister keeps in her van was for their dog not the children. Learn something new everyday.

-vern

As a father to two young boys, one autistic and the the other too young to be tested but showing warning signs, I gotta pipe in. I can't claim experience with neurotypical kids, but the "beat some manners" form of parenting simply doesn't seem like a good idea. It might work with "normal" kids, but when you have a son that can't understand language, yelling at him just makes him further upset. The technique that I have to use is to be no more that three feet away from him at all times, and be able to predict what he's going to do before he does it. If I'm quick enough I can divert him to something else so we don't have the fight to begin with, and if I don't catch it in time, then a firm "no" and grabbing his hand has a 50/50 chance of working. The rest of the time is an hour-long crisis-hold as he tries to kick, claw, headbutt, and bite anyone in reach, including himself. So, I'm sorry, but I do take offense at people that don't have children saying that it's the parents' fault.

It's like some random guy on the street saying that he could do brain surgery. All you have to do is cut them open and take out the bad part. What's the big deal?

If you want to read about some parents that are in the front lines, here's a very good forum.

http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum

So please, next time you see a kid acting up in a store, consider the possibility that the most obvious explanation is not always the correct one.

No, it doesn't work on "normal" kids either. (I guess it depends on the degree). My wife worked in a BD school as a social worker prior to quiting to have our first child. There were plenty of kids there that received the beatings.



I don't get your point. Your comparing a highly skilled job to a lifestyle..



Makes sense.. to a point. But, if that kid is kicking and screaming in the middle of the floor for 10 minutes.. sorry.. it goes back onto the parents. They should realize that the rest of the store doesn't want to hear or deal with it, and leave the store. I understand that autism can be difficult to deal with, but it's not a license to say, " Well, he's autistic, what can I do?".. and just let everything go.

My kids are "normal" and we still have to leave stores and restaurants early because the kids are sleepy and are starting to act up. It's part of being a responsible parent. Not only so that people don't have to hear/deal with them, but because they also set a very bad example for other kids. I don't know how many times I have had to explain other kids behavior to my son letting him know that it isn't acceptable because I have seen him test the waters after watching another kid get away with ridiculous stuff.

Joe,

My father was a teacher and school administrator. His last job before he retired was as an administrator in a school dedicated exclusively to mentally challenged and special needs children of all levels. He was responsible for helping to develop the educational plan for each child's capabilities. He helped students get jobs to support themselves after they graduated, and he helped those children whose only goal was to feed themselves or to point at a picture of what they would like for lunch. And yes, he had to deal with the children who would not only attack the teachers but were old enough to do some harm.

This discussion and the points I am making regard so called "average" children or the statistical norm. I would NEVER expect a child with special needs to be treated in the same way as a child who is developmentally normal. That wouldn't be fair. So don't be too hard on me. I know the difference very well. Years ago before my father retired we would meet many of his students at local stores and restaurants working and earning a living. Well respected by thier employers and coworkers. They always would always greet my dad with a big hug.

I appreciate your situation and I know it must be challenging what you must go through to raise your children. But *I* take offense at being made to feel bad for something that wasn't really a part of this relatively light hearted discussion.

We all have "special needs" ... they just don't always apply to every topic.

-vern

I had a comment, but I don't want to get caught up in parenting as I don't have any children, so nobody yell at me. I'll just say the children are our future teach them A:M if you can and let them animate the way.

I think the Reality is that most people will continue watching whatever is put in front of them. Children today miss out on things like the Smurfs and Scooby Doo and are instead watching Sponge Bob or some other poorly scripted/animated show. Wipeout on ABC is not MXC. Who's line is it any way's was better when it was in Britain before Disney got a hold of it. Don't cave people to all the corporate drivel, rise above and teach your children to do the same. I know there's quality programming still on, It's just really hard to find these days. I have a half empty Tivo to prove it. Mythbusters and Made in America are probably the only two reality shows I watch.

First, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound harsh. If I did, it is due in part to the limitations of the internet not being able to express tone, and and I may come off preachy sometimes, but as Jzawacki mentioned, I can't tell you how many times I've had to carry my kid kicking and screaming from a public place as people mutter about being a horrible parent, and when the baseball bat comment came up, well, I got a little angry. I'm sure it was just a simple jest, but again, since we can't 'hear' tone sometimes people take offense to harmless quips.

No hard feelings, and Vern, I'm sorry that I made you feel bad. All I was trying add to the conversion is that reality television isn't reality and due to the heavily edited footage, we often end up with such a one-sided take on what's really going on that it causes everyone to fail to realize that we're talking about real people and not some two-dimensional sitcom characters.

So, if everyone agrees, can we just chalk this up to a misunderstanding and drop it. In addition, I promise to try not to use examples from my personal experience in the future unless it is strictly on topic. Vern, I truly enjoy your posts and apologize if I have sullied the mood of your world.

*ahem* So, speaking of on topic, I am surprised that Mythbusters hasn't been brought up. That and Junkyard Wars are two of my favorites.

Yes Joe, emotions are lost in the printed words of the internet. No hard feelings.

Is Junk Yard Wars on any channel anywhere? I haven't seen it in years. It originated on British television didn't it? I stopped watching when the format turned into "professional wrestling" and turned more destructive than scientific.

-vern

Yes Joe, emotions are lost in the printed words of the internet. No hard feelings.

Is Junk Yard Wars on any channel anywhere? I haven't seen it in years. It originated on British television didn't it? I stopped watching when the format turned into "professional wrestling" and turned more destructive than scientific.

p.s. This is "Vern's World"... so you really don't have to stay on topic that much. Just don't mention aspartame.

-vern

Nice post count padding..



This goes along with not having kids.. I have a 400GB DVR (set to about 2GB / hr, so 200 hours) that is completely full. Of course, there is only a few shows that are mine or my wifes. The rest are almost all animated.. but, I'd like to give a little praise to PBS for shows like Word World and Super Why.. Which are not just educational, but actually really good shows.

Mythbusters is cool, but again, not really reality TV. Or are there a lot of people getting paid to bust myths? Anyway, I haven't heard of Made in America (I'm guessing it is showing manufacturing processes, etc) but I do like shows like that.. Just not enough to record them.

As for Junk Yard Wars.. I thought that show was canceled in the USA.. I liked watching that show as well. That is where I learned how easy it was for a diesel engine to run under water.

Oh!!!

"How It's Made" is a great show. No people, no fake stories no jokes they just show things being made on an assembly line. It's fascinating.

-vern

Hi, Vern. I agree with you on all counts. Not interested in Survivor, Extreme Home Makeover is a waste. But I like Wipeout. It doesn't seem mean spirited and it gives me a good laugh.

About Junkyard Wars, I could have sworn that I watched it just a few weeks ago, and then today I saw it on Discovery Science. It's just reruns but there's seven or eight seasons and I've missed a few.

I remember Junkyard Wars!

They had British Army Officers on one time, making a cannon. When they tested it, their cannon fired its BARREL all three times.

They had British navy officers building an amphibious vehicle. It slowly sank.

Which makes me think that the following anecdote may have some truth to it:

A similar thing happened with the Mythbusters guys. They were trying to confirm that story about the frozen chickens and did the same experiment with the chickens to see if a frozen chicken really made a difference. However... they got the wrong type of windshields for the test. They didn't get windshields that were rated for "bird strike" and had to start over when all the chickens went through.

I can't remember exactly but I think they confirmed that at those speeds it made no difference if the chicken was frozen or not.

-vern

I saw that episode and I think you're right. The new season starts soon and they're starting by proving that the moon landing wasn't faked.

I can't wait for that one. Hopefully it will put to rest that absolute nonsense about faked moon landings.

-vern

My favorite two Mythbusters episodes was the one where they showed that elephants really did seem frightened of mice.

And the other was when they built rafts from raincoats and escaped Alcatraz. I'm still not totally convinced that Frank Morris made it all those years ago, but the Mythbusters showed that it was at least possible.

Hm... That didn't happen.. I wounder why. How do you prove that it isn't fake? (I personally don't care if it is/n't) I don't see commercial (MythTV auto skips them) but I did catch the new show.. They explained why I get such poor gas mileage.. But it does seem like they are hard up for good myths to bust.. I mean.. using explosives to tenderize meat? Who cares? It's not practical. They should have did another test and ran it through a grander.. that's what the meat looked like to me, as it was falling apart.

About the moon landing not happening... let's not discuss that. I feel the same way about that as I do about Aspartame.
It happened. Even now special effects aren't good enough to fake it. They couldn't have possibly faked it that well back then.

(the moon fake Mythbusters episode is coming up. I don't know if it's this week or not.)

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About the meat tenderizing, I watch Mythbusters when I visit my dad. He says the same thing...



-vern