I was a tad late arriving to the reunion which is held at the Greenwood Mennonite high school. I pulled up around 1 pm. To my surprise... everyone was leaving. A long caravan of cars was forming in the parking lot. One of my aunts leaned out the window and shouted:

"We're going to the Wolf Pit! Do you need a ride?"
"Huh? Wolf Pit? What the heck is the Wolf Pit?"
"You don't know about the Wolf Pit?"
"Uh... no. Are there wolves there?"

Then another car pulls up with another aunt (I have like 9 of 'em) one cousin (several thousand of those) and my sister (only 2) in the back seat.

"Vern get in we're going to the Wolf Pit!"
"Is everyone going to the Wolf Pit? Do I really want to go to the Wolf Pit? WHAT THE HELL IS THE WOLF PIT?"
"Yes, everyone is going. Get in the car!"

Apparently from what I gather the Wolf Pit is some historical site where ancient Mennonites sacrificed church members caught watching TV or dancing, by throwing them in a pit of wolves...

Okay that is not true. I made that up.

It did have to do with digging pits and catching wolves though. It may not have anything to do with Mennonites. The whole story was never really explained or else I just didn't pay attention. It may be that my great grandparents lived on the land that was called the Wolf Pit.

While in the car my sister asked what I had in my bag.

"It's for the silent auction." Each reunion people bring family items for an auction to raise money to pay for the food. This year I brought something I found in the back of my refrigerator from 1999...

... okay I lied again. that's what it said on the label but in reality it was a rubbery polymer I made that morning that just LOOKED like rancid tofu. It is made with Elmer's glue, Borax and food coloring and is a lot of fun for kids to play with.

We drive for about 10 minutes and finally arrive at the dang Wolf Pit. It appears to be an out door brick camp fire with benches and a very strange shack with shelves a table and some chairs, but missing an entire wall on one side. Many people approached asking what the shack was used for.

"The shack is where the excommunicated Mennonites were held before being cast into the Wolf Pit as penance for their transgressions." I said.
"Or maybe they caught local people in the pit." Someone else suggested.
"Yes, of course. That's how they got new members of the church." I continued.
"'Join the Mennonites and we will let you out of the pit!'".

Someone shushed me because my uncle was explaining the historical significance of the Wolf Pit. I wasn't listening. My cousin who had won a teaching excellence award from Apple was telling me about all the cool stuff she got when she went to the Apple headquarters. Unfortunately she didn't get to meet Steve himself and was unable to ask him for a new laptop on my behalf (I had a whole script for her to read from... something about losing my leg rescuing children from a fire... and not being able to afford a new Mac because all my money was spent on the prosthetic).

I did get a really nice T-shirt with an Apple logo... I wasn't that disappointed... really truly. She did get to see Steve Jobs' office. She got the entire Apple software package as well. Every program Apple makes she got. I turned green with envy... or maybe it was sun stroke.

I was hungry thirsty and tired from the trip... and I had to pee.

I always end up in the woods at these reunions. Last time I got whacked by tree branches ridding in the back of a big tractor at night. I asked someone if the Wolf Pit was anywhere around here (if they were deep enough maybe I could pee in one).

"We found some deep depressions on the other side of the field. We think those might actually be old remains of ancient wolf pits." My uncle explained.

I made a comment about a "deep depression" caused by dehydration and sun stroke.

Eventually we made it back to the school house and had a wonderful day eating home cooked Mennonite cuisine, discussing Mennonites, Zehrs, and Polymers made from Elmer's glue and Borax.

It was strange. No one wanted to touch that stuff even when I explained what it really was made of. The kids loved it though and begged their parents to bid on it. The "rancid yogurt from my fridge" made $8 in the auction. One of my aunts got the last bid on it. I don't know why she did such a thing. $8.00? I kept telling people it wasn't worth more than $5.50-$6.00 tops.

-vern

Vern really enjoyed the Vern's Family Blog...no pictures?

Here are some pictures.

This is the "Wolf Pit". I don't think this is the actual location of the actual pit. The young lady with the camera is my cousin who won Apple's teaching excellence award and was invited to tour Apple headquarters.
Click to view attachment

This is some sort of "famous shrub". Many relatives took clippings home.
Click to view attachment

This is either the infamous Jason of "Friday the 13th" as a child... or it's one of my nephews. Over the last few days... I am not sure yet if there is a difference. Don't tell my sister I said that.
Click to view attachment

-vern

All bipeds! Very promising.

But...they all look quite normal, Vern!

Actually they are all hiding their faces, except for the little one.
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Can that bush talk Mennonite or something?
Oh, I get it. This is what you meant when you said your family were pro Bush.

So---this gives creedence to our theory that Vern was raised by wolves!

Thanks for sharing Vern! Have you discovered Picasa for sharing photos? It's excellent! Although you prolly have an i-solution for it...

BTW---Your sister is hot!

I think the little one looks more like Hannabel "ankle biter" lecter on wheels!

I will pass that on!

Yes she always was the attractive popular girl. I won't say how old she is now but she is my older sister.

She wrote and illustrated this book which I put together for her:

http://www.lulu.com/content/478312

I did the layout and cover design... and... photoshopped some of the illustrations. I also gave her some art lessons. I was too lazy to do the illustrations myself as she requested. Do not ask me what it's all about. I don't understand it... because I'm a man... not an attractive woman with vanity issues.

-vern