I got a CapitalOne "No Hassle" credit card. You can tell it's no hassle because it says so right on the card! I couldn't wait to get my No Hassle card because I figure the amount of hassle says a lot about a credit card's prestige factor, (plus the television advertisements were good - I always wanted to chase barbarians away with my credit card).

When I received the card in the mail 2 years ago, I did a little no hassle dance then I went off to New Zealand to rack up some "No Hassle" miles. Unfortunately, the second day in New Zealand, CapitalOne turned off my No Hassle card. It was somewhat of a hassle turning it back on from New Zealand but I figured the average no hassle factor was still a net gain. Unfortunately, CapitalOne turned off my No Hassle card a few days after that. This time it was too much of a hassle to turn the card back on so I waited to get back home. Unfortunately, the few times I tried to contact CapitalOne to turn my No Hassle card back on, they put me on hold for over 20 minutes... Which was too much hassle for me. I decided to wait it out... How long would they keep my credit card on hold?

Apparently, forever. I'd forgotten about CapitalOne's "No Hassle" card until they sent me a new one in the mail. "What the heck," I thought. I'll give it another hassle to get some no hassle. I called to activate the new "No Hassle" card but the phone message said the systems were "being serviced - wait an hour." What a hassle. I waited 2 hours and called again... This time there was no answer at all - the phone rang until the phone company cut off the call. Hassle.

The new card sat on my desk for a couple weeks. I'm an anal guy... I don't like unfinished things so I called one more time to activate my "No Hassle" card. I was just about ready to hang up after 10 minutes of listening to the recorded message telling me about the lack of hassle I was going to get when I used my "No Hassle" card when a woman with a very thick Indian accent said something that I couldn't understand. I guessed she was asking for my name. I told her. She asked what I wanted (I think). I told her I wanted my "No Hassle" card activated. She said she couldn't activate it because it had been deactivated.

I said, "Well, activate it."

"You'll need to fax us a request to activate your No Hassle card," she said.

"That seems like a hassle," I said. "Couldn't I just tell you on the phone right now that I want my card activated - that's what the phone number is for, right?"

She said something I didn't understand.

I said, "Could you please just discontinue this card - or whatever you do to take it out of your system permanently?"

She said, "You want to discontinue your card?"

"Yes," I said.

"Could you give me a reason for discontinuing your card?" she asked.

I told her.

She started reading something to me... Something long... Maybe the agreement that's on the back of a credit card's application - I don't know? I hung up after a minute or 2. I cut the card up and threw it into the trash. It was kind of a hassle.

I guess I misunderstood - when they said "no hassle," they mean it's no hassle for them.

Credit cards are the work of the devil, I tell ya. In sufic theology the person who makes a living from interest shall spend eternity swimming in a river of blood! The idea is that living off of interest is similar to sucking people's blood.

I've cut up my Capital One card years ago, and that was the best thing I have ever done. Now if I could only convince my wife not to use the American Express card - <sigh>

I find my credit card great. But I always make sure I have it topped up. I don't like being in debt. I suppose it's more like a debit card that's accepted in more places.

I find my credit card great, too - but it's not Cap1. When I had Cap1, we had what might politely be called a "falling out" and they cancelled. A week later I got junk mail inviting me to apply for a preappproved Cap1 card, and I still get the stuff.

Martin's experience just proves what I already suspected: their right hand doesn't know what their left hand is doing. Hell, their thumb doesn't know what their index finger is doing.