Our neighbors, Jack and Diane, were over visiting for the holiday season. We were discussing the Christmas lights on the houses around us, last week’s windstorm, and what each of us were planning to do in the New Year. Diane asked my wife, Gwynne, what I had got her for Christmas.
Gwynne looked over at me. “Tell them what you got me for Christmas, dear,” she said, sweetly.
I was happy to comply. “I got Gwynne a 34-foot manlift.”
Neither Jack nor Diane said anything for a few moments then Jack said, “oh, that’s cool! Tell me about it, Gwynne.”
“You tell him, dear,” Gwynne said to me.
I was ready. “It’s a two ton ’77 Jimmy with less than 1000 hours: scissors and rotation; microbrake; and utility body.”
Diane’s face was confused. “Are you talking about some kind of crane?” she asked, aghast.
Jack butted in. “Where ya gonna use it?”
“Gwynne wanted to clean the house exterior, so I strapped a 3500 psi pressure washer into the bucket. She has a tough time getting it started but if she levers herself out over the extension arm she can get enough pull on the starter. The fiberglass is tearing her up a bit though…” I smiled over at Gwynne, “she’ll toughen up.”
Gwynne pulled back her shirt sleeves to show cut and scratched forearms.
Diane looked horrified. “Oh, my god,” she exclaimed. “You can hire somebody to do that.”
“Who makes the body?” Jack interrupted.
“American Steel. And it has fine-adjusting, four-lever hydraulic controls – with a second set on the main arm. Plus, the guy threw in a set of 5-lug spare dualies.”
“Where’d ya get it?”
“I was driving down St. James and it was parked on the side of the road with a ‘For Sale’ sign barely visible in the window. I don’t think anybody else could see the sign ‘cause I got a great deal on it.”
Gwynne interjected, “I was at home when he drove up… I can tell you – it made quite an impression on the other ladies from work who were over for brunch.”
Jack appeared to be in deep concentration.
“So, Jack… What’d you get Diane for Christmas?”
“Well,” Jack began. “I had some 2 carat designer diamond earrings on order… But now I’m thinking maybe she needs a backhoe.”

So... I guess you're dining out on Christmas day.

(Original message reworded because it was being perceived as inuendo, which was not intended).

I only meant to imply that, unless Martin's wife is very into heavy machinery then, Martin might find the favour returned. Please don't read anything into that.

Careful Paul. This is a family website.

Hmmm. Sorry. Bad choice of words.
Message has been edited to avoid mistranslation.

Well, I can kinda guess what Paul originally said..

Nevertheless, seems like Gwynne is a lot like my wife. One year she wanted a new hoe, shovel, rack for her gardening stuff..

This year she wants a cement mixer and fencing.

Though a backhoe's a good idea too...



edit: Btw, what are the odds of two people getting married named Jack and Diane? At first I thought Martin made it up while listening to John Mellencamp.

For some reason; the picture of tiny, petite Gwynn turning on a 3500psi pressure washer, on top of a manlift, is just a disaster of cartoon proportions. I can just picture the pressure hose whipping Gwynn in every direction while she's holding on for dear life!

Couldn't just get her a pen in the shape of a penguin huh, Martin?

Gwynne and her Christmas present.

Wow.

Go Gwynne!

I pray the boys get no great ideas about aspiring to new heights on yon trampoline.
This means you too Noel!

Cool!

And certainly a very practical present. I can see all kinds of uses for this. No more ladders. No more scaffolding. Great crane shots for the next Hash Bash video...Every home should have one!

I do like practical presents... and besides, how many pairs of diamond earrings does a girl need?
Well done, Gwynne, for taking it in the right spirit, and well done, Martin, for the inspired purchase...I think.
You could have wrapped it at least, Martin. You know... some of that old Christmas magic.

Actually, it's hard to tell from the photograph if Gwynne is smiling or waving for help. I don't see any emergency ladder on the arm... and I can't tell if the controls are in the bucket or on the back of the vehicle.
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Wait a minute! Are you planning on having a VERY BIG Christmas tree this year?

What a neat toy!

Noticing that the outriggers aren't set, did they include the manual?

http://www.osha.gov/SLTC/video/cranesafety/video.html


Merry Christmas

Very nice.

My wife wants me to decorate our 20' pine next year. Something like that would be very handy- she thinks I can do it with a pole I rigged up with a wrench on the end to hold the strand of lights..I may be tall, but c'mon!



Interesting you brought that up Bruce...I don't see any in the picture on the truck (usually they're on the sides in plain view, even in the upright position).