I've always wanted to be cool. I had my chance... I was in college during the disco craze, and I had a pair of "Angle Flight" double-knit pants (nuthuggers), and a bright colored polyester shirt open to the third button. My hair was a sight to behold... Me and Shaun Cassidy. I carried one of those great big combs with a handle that stuck out of my back pocket. But, even with gold chains, and big-heeled shoes, I missed my chance to be cool.

Disco's long gone, and now SUVs are "cool." Here in Portland, with the highest concentration of single women in the United States (outside of Nevada), Subarus are popular. I've heard them called "lesbarus," and there's a reason for that. The most popular Subaru model is the "Forester." I read an article in the newspaper that said Surbaru specifically targets the Forester at the lesbian consumer niche, and that Portland was their number one sales region. I think Foresters are popular because people (women?) can haul around their dogs - often, two huge dogs. No rapists are going to steal those cars. And in case the drivers ever want to go 4-wheelin' - there's that too.

I don't look good in a Subaru, and the SUV of choice for men just doesn't appeal to me. For example, I was driving to work the other day and there was an SUV in front of me that was seriously cool. In fact, I whipped out my cell phone and took a picture of it on the freeway on-ramp... You know, just in case I needed to show a salesman at the SUV dealership the manly vehicle I wanted... When I decide to be cool. I've included that picture below.

p.s. Just so you know, that's George Bush with "USA" on his shirt BFing Osama Bin Laden. How cool is that, anyway?

Speechless.

But laughing.

Martin, you're such a trouble maker.

My kinda people.

Being a movie producer is much cooler than any Ford SUV could ever be, I'd stick with that if you are looking to tap Portland's wealth of single girls.


I's say you are cool enough.

Fascinating.

I saw that same guy (his SUV that is) while visiting your neck of the woods at Hash Bash.
I didn't point it out to my wife for fear I might have to try to explain American humor.
I'm sure she had to see it though. Kind of hard not too.

Everytime I see such humor I begin to understand how we are losing the battle AND the war in the hearts and minds of those outside America. Either that or we are just blending into the morass and seeking new levels of enlightenment through entertainment.

I guess I just don't understand humor (American or otherwise).
I've never been cool either.

What happened to the red Lamborghini?



Yes, there's a lot of Americans who would be embarassing examples of an American.

Never mind trying to explain why we draw such terrible caricatures of Bush and Bin Laden.

SUV's (or 4WD's as we refer to them) aren't cool downunder. They have a bad rep and there are those actively pushing to have them banned from urban streets or at least require owners to have special licenses.

They are extremely popular amongst school mums - in fact the advertising on TV shows a line of big 4WD's outside the local primary school with mums dressed and acting like truckies whilst the 'normal' mum comes driving by in her Forrester (or whatever) then the shot cuts back showing all the trucky mums green with envy.

But I'm cool - you'll find me driving my 1600cc Toyota Corolla

Same story here in London.
Big, road hogging, gas guzzling 4x4s driven primarily by women. One hand on the wheel and the other on her mobile phone. Attention focused anywhere but the road. (Generalising just a liitle).

They're bringing in a heavier toll for people who drive them here to 25 GBP per day to drive them in London.

Nah.. don't worry about that.. the guy who first drew that probably did it on a bathroom stall and was rushed and otherwise occupied.. so I'm sure he didn't give it his best. Then some numbnut came along with his super cool portable scanner (I got to get me one of those) and scanned the stall for its content (probably some copyright restrictions broken there, but these types don't worry about that much) Then he took it to his cousin who works at a kinkos and they proceeded to mass produce this "wonderful" work of American post modernism and viola. Now everyone stuck in traffic gets to see it and enjoy the original artist's "sense of humor".

truly inspiring

I've wondered what "Double-Knits" were... heard Frank Zappa singing about them but couldnt work it out!