What's wrong with me?
Why can't I do anything right?
No matter how hard I try,
It's all messed up in the end.

What's wrong with me?
Everyone else is sturdy and true,
But as hard as I try,
My plans fall to pieces.

What's wrong with me?
I can never win the race,
I've never been a spelling ace,
The best I do is so ho-hum.

What's wrong with me?
Why do I have to lag behind?
Everyone else does it on their own,
And I always need help.

Okay, I'm in four songs, that's a lot. I'll have to get voice lessons or something!

Sooo.....we actually are doing a musical? Either way doesn't bother me, but songs are hard to get right in movies.

Aren't songs supposed to rhyme somewhat?



Change that last line to:

"It's always a fight" as in now matter how hard he tries, he always struggles.




Change that to:

"My plans come unglued".




Maybe move line 2 to 4 and 3 to 2

"What's wrong with me?
I've never been a spelling ace,
The best I do is ho-hum,
I can never win the race."




Try:
What's wrong with me?
Why do I lag behind?
Everyone else does it on their own,
And I always need time. (close enough...)

Hmmm..Gschumsky I don't think that last line would look good. See, in songwriting you don't always want rhymes. Especially in a situation like that when the word is in the last line, you want it to make total sense rather than rhyme. You want to end the last line with a strong statement, so either have a really descriptive and hard-hitting rhyme, or have a statement that really sticks out. Not having a rhyme there also emphasizes the line. People have to think about what it says because it's not a rhyme.

I would keep it the same in this situation.

Try writing the music to this one two.

Hmmm, every song I hear on the radio seems to have rhymes pretty much everywhere, whether I'm listening to classic rock, punk, ska, reggae (that's all Bob Marley did), country western, RAP (all they do is rhyme), or pop. The only place I don't hear them is in opera or metal.

Based on the first verse, here's my first stab at the melancholy melody: What's Wrong With Me?

Hey, try singing over that, Mike. Let's see how it sounds with words.

Sorry Martin but there is no known drug nor enough alcohol in the known universe that can make me sing. I have a friend with a great voice though - I'll see if I can get her to come over and lay down a track or two.

Niels de Gooier has taken a stab at this song too.

The piano sonds catchy but I think the actual voice needs to be a little more simple and catchy. You want kids walking around singing these songe.

Another gorgeous tune. And absolutely beautiful voice.

My only concern would be that it might be too similar (in feel) to the Tinman/TinGirl love song...Obviously Niels is quite the accomplished musician & perhaps he could come up with a variation on this one ... might not be needed as the tunes are separated by a lot of time (in the movie).

It's the same song and yet not quite the same at all...

Niels

Sounds, bells or whatever the background instrument(s) is/are, a little too psychedelic for my taste. ie it reminds me of the 70's and those kaleidescope video clips!

Cheers

I really like the tune but can't help but think the lyricks could use some finessing.
There's obviously a scene that this song is connected to and that might make all the difference in the world and fit perfectly.

As one part of a larger whole I think this could really soar as Woot's theme.
It seems to really dig into his character in ways that "I Wanna Be An Adventurer" etc don't.

Part I, "What's Wrong with me?" Introspection. Woot is doubting himself.

Part II, "What's Wrong with me?" Realization. Seeing his own potential but others don't quite yet see it. (Hey! I can do that. Pick me! Pick me!)

Part III, "What's Wrong with me?" Acceptance. Woot finds his answer. "What's wrong with me? Nothing that's what! 'Cause you see... I'm me!

Clear as mud I know... ah well.
Zzzzz...

David, I'm too yong that it reminds me of anything other than the classification 'dreamy'

Niels



I see Woot e.g. hobbling and sitting on a rock, while a cloud appears showing his thoughts where the camera could zoom into to make it full-screen. Thought are mostly flash-backs, not necesarily all from the past film-material but it should begin with one, to make clear where seeing his thoughts.



I like the contrast too.

Niels.